self-care starts with compassion
“Be kind to yourself.” Easily said and remembered, but it can be quite challenging to put into practice.
As we navigate our way through the world, there may be instances when we find ourselves consciously or subconsciously criticizing or saying things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to a friend, or even a stranger.
Sometimes, we forget that self-care is not limited to wellness routines; it can be integrated into the way we approach life by treating ourselves with kindness and compassion. This includes being mindful of our inner dialogue. Our self-talk can influence our mood and emotions, and it can also impact our self-esteem and how we respond to events, situations, and people around us.
We may not always notice how our thoughts affect our behavior, but our bodies have a way of telling us when we are being too hard on ourselves through our stress responses. Perhaps we feel flushed or find it difficult to breathe. Or maybe there’s a feeling of tightness or heaviness in our chests, or we observe that we’re furrowing our eyebrows a little too much.
When we catch ourselves in these moments, our first remedy can simply be taking a step back to pause for a few deep breaths.
Breathing works because it sends a signal to the brain that the body is not under threat. Deep and slow breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, a key component of the parasympathetic nervous system (the part of us responsible for promoting a state of relaxation and recovery).
By slowing down the breath, we signal to the body that it is safe to shift from a heightened state of alertness— in this case, from being hyper-aware or critical of ourselves— to a more relaxed state.
Once we have taken a breath, we can begin to move forward with more compassion.
It may help if we think and treat ourselves as a friend. Reframing negative thoughts does not mean that we become overly positive or find excuses to avoid being accountable for our actions and behavior. Rather, much like a friend would do, we can give ourselves space - a chance to breathe - patience, understanding, and encouragement as we grow as human beings. And kind words to help us bounce back from setbacks or uncomfortable situations.
Friends also help us celebrate the good in life - both small and big wins. Or even just a Friday. We can extend compassion to ourselves by giving ourselves a pat on the back. We can say, “I did well today.” No follow-up buts. No comparison to others. Or downplaying the goodness of the moment by thinking about past mistakes or potential mishaps.
By nurturing the seeds of self-compassion within ourselves, we are also increasing our capacity to extend kindness, empathy, and understanding to those around us. This allows us to build stronger and deeper connections and feel more present in our relationships.
Embracing self-compassion is not about being perfect but about acknowledging our imperfections with empathy. Recognizing that we, too, deserve gentleness and patience. And in turn, this cultivates a foundation of resilience, allowing us to navigate life's challenges with grace and a more profound sense of well-being.
As we navigate our way through the world, there may be instances when we find ourselves consciously or subconsciously criticizing or saying things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to a friend, or even a stranger.
Sometimes, we forget that self-care is not limited to wellness routines; it can be integrated into the way we approach life by treating ourselves with kindness and compassion. This includes being mindful of our inner dialogue. Our self-talk can influence our mood and emotions, and it can also impact our self-esteem and how we respond to events, situations, and people around us.
We may not always notice how our thoughts affect our behavior, but our bodies have a way of telling us when we are being too hard on ourselves through our stress responses. Perhaps we feel flushed or find it difficult to breathe. Or maybe there’s a feeling of tightness or heaviness in our chests, or we observe that we’re furrowing our eyebrows a little too much.
When we catch ourselves in these moments, our first remedy can simply be taking a step back to pause for a few deep breaths.
Breathing works because it sends a signal to the brain that the body is not under threat. Deep and slow breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, a key component of the parasympathetic nervous system (the part of us responsible for promoting a state of relaxation and recovery).
By slowing down the breath, we signal to the body that it is safe to shift from a heightened state of alertness— in this case, from being hyper-aware or critical of ourselves— to a more relaxed state.
Once we have taken a breath, we can begin to move forward with more compassion.
It may help if we think and treat ourselves as a friend. Reframing negative thoughts does not mean that we become overly positive or find excuses to avoid being accountable for our actions and behavior. Rather, much like a friend would do, we can give ourselves space - a chance to breathe - patience, understanding, and encouragement as we grow as human beings. And kind words to help us bounce back from setbacks or uncomfortable situations.
Friends also help us celebrate the good in life - both small and big wins. Or even just a Friday. We can extend compassion to ourselves by giving ourselves a pat on the back. We can say, “I did well today.” No follow-up buts. No comparison to others. Or downplaying the goodness of the moment by thinking about past mistakes or potential mishaps.
By nurturing the seeds of self-compassion within ourselves, we are also increasing our capacity to extend kindness, empathy, and understanding to those around us. This allows us to build stronger and deeper connections and feel more present in our relationships.
Embracing self-compassion is not about being perfect but about acknowledging our imperfections with empathy. Recognizing that we, too, deserve gentleness and patience. And in turn, this cultivates a foundation of resilience, allowing us to navigate life's challenges with grace and a more profound sense of well-being.