yes no maybe in horses
Because one of our favorite “checkpoints'' at Equinimity, in working with humans, is asking the question “Does this appear to be a Yes, No or Maybe?” In our approach, Yes means Yes, No means No, and Maybe means No until it becomes a Yes. The other day, I was asked what this question means when working with horses.
When looking at this question as it applies to being in relationship with a horse, this can be a very difficult thing to answer. Sometimes, the answer can seem quite clear, but most of the time, there are so many factors present, it is not clear at all! Or, what you perceived the answer to be quickly becomes something else!
The easiest way I can describe some situations is by examples of typical responses from some of our herd members. When we offer the fly masks to be put on, most of the time, each horse (excepting Epona) will drop their head and seek the mask (Yes!). Sometimes there will be a distraction (someone preparing food, maybe!?!) and the horse will walk away (Maybe). It doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t want the fly mask, but he may want food more in the moment. In that case, it is the human’s job to discern what feels most true, and as long as safety is still the main part of the equation, the human can pursue with the mask, or just hang it back on the fence, if it still feels like a Maybe or a No.
Another example may be approaching a horse with the intention of haltering the horse. We try to always be very heart-centered in this activity, because it is a privilege for a human to have a horse in halter, especially when the rest of the herd is at liberty. If we project the intention of making a physical connection with the horse, resulting in haltering, as we approach the horse, and she walks away, it doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t want to be haltered. My mare, Freedom, will take care of her “business” first, if she reads your intention to join up (Maybe). She may walk far enough away to relieve herself, and then wait for you to come up to her. Sometimes, she may walk back to the human, and that is a huge Yes!
The mare we call Epona, is a perfect teacher of discerning the difference between Yes/No/Maybe. She really loves to be brushed and stroked and scratched. However, if you approach her with your body emoting tension or hurry, she will not wait to see what you have to offer. In a horses’ DNA, that hesitation could mean the difference between life or death. A fine example of this can be seen in a video of wild animals at the watering hole. If the Water Buffalo are drinking and a hungry lion approaches, the buffalo will scatter and run. If those same buffalo are drinking and a thirsty lion approaches, they will just share the space calmly. In the case of Epona, to see the clearest Yes from her, would be for you to present yourself (and your intention) from a distance your intuition tells you feels safe for her. Then just ground yourself and picture how you would like to interact with her, and wait for her to come to you. If she chooses to walk away, and you see no obvious distractions, you can safely assume that is a No.
When looking at this question as it applies to being in relationship with a horse, this can be a very difficult thing to answer. Sometimes, the answer can seem quite clear, but most of the time, there are so many factors present, it is not clear at all! Or, what you perceived the answer to be quickly becomes something else!
The easiest way I can describe some situations is by examples of typical responses from some of our herd members. When we offer the fly masks to be put on, most of the time, each horse (excepting Epona) will drop their head and seek the mask (Yes!). Sometimes there will be a distraction (someone preparing food, maybe!?!) and the horse will walk away (Maybe). It doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t want the fly mask, but he may want food more in the moment. In that case, it is the human’s job to discern what feels most true, and as long as safety is still the main part of the equation, the human can pursue with the mask, or just hang it back on the fence, if it still feels like a Maybe or a No.
Another example may be approaching a horse with the intention of haltering the horse. We try to always be very heart-centered in this activity, because it is a privilege for a human to have a horse in halter, especially when the rest of the herd is at liberty. If we project the intention of making a physical connection with the horse, resulting in haltering, as we approach the horse, and she walks away, it doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t want to be haltered. My mare, Freedom, will take care of her “business” first, if she reads your intention to join up (Maybe). She may walk far enough away to relieve herself, and then wait for you to come up to her. Sometimes, she may walk back to the human, and that is a huge Yes!
The mare we call Epona, is a perfect teacher of discerning the difference between Yes/No/Maybe. She really loves to be brushed and stroked and scratched. However, if you approach her with your body emoting tension or hurry, she will not wait to see what you have to offer. In a horses’ DNA, that hesitation could mean the difference between life or death. A fine example of this can be seen in a video of wild animals at the watering hole. If the Water Buffalo are drinking and a hungry lion approaches, the buffalo will scatter and run. If those same buffalo are drinking and a thirsty lion approaches, they will just share the space calmly. In the case of Epona, to see the clearest Yes from her, would be for you to present yourself (and your intention) from a distance your intuition tells you feels safe for her. Then just ground yourself and picture how you would like to interact with her, and wait for her to come to you. If she chooses to walk away, and you see no obvious distractions, you can safely assume that is a No.
