The beauty of a third place
One of the things we’ve often highlighted in our newsletter is the unique beauty of Tucson’s sunsets. We can always count on seeing the majesty of the sky. The day may have been filled with challenges - it could have been a scorching hot afternoon, we could have had a difficult conversation, an unexpected loss, or there may be lingering feelings of dread, unease, and uncertainty. But once sunset rolls in, the sky captures our attention as it bursts into a medley of pink, orange, purple and gold. This moment of beauty does not erase the hardships of the day, but it offers us a reminder that life, quite literally, isn’t black and white. There is an in-between - a third place if you will - where the good can exist along with the bad.
It’s natural to want to shield ourselves from pain. To find an escape or distraction. Turning away from distressing news or suppressing difficult emotions can feel like self-preservation. But in looking for the good, it doesn’t mean that we look the other way or pretend that the challenges we’re facing are not happening. We don’t have to turn away from the dark to see light. Instead, we can allow ourselves to hold space for both.
There is a wonderful quote forwarded to us by a member of our community:
“Everything is on fire, but everyone I love is doing beautiful things
and trying to make life worth living,
and I know I don't have to believe in everything,
but I believe in that.”
-Nikita Gill
The goal is not to pretend that the bad things don’t exist, but to allow ourselves to see beauty in its midst. This process can begin with mindfulness. When something good crosses our path - a kind word, a laugh with a friend, the warmth of the sun on our skin - we can pause and let ourselves feel it. To be in that moment and find a bit of solace, a bit of hope, a bit of warmth (both physically and emotionally). In the darkest times, even the smallest glimmers of light can feel profound. During grief, a moment of connection with a loved one, or even a stranger, carries extraordinary weight. In adversity, a simple act of kindness becomes a beacon of hope. The catastrophic wildfires in California have left many devastated but it also moved people into action, offering a helping hand to those who need it.
The goodness we experience doesn’t take away the pain, but it coexists with it and it can offer us comfort and valuable perspective - that it’s possible to feel heartbroken and grateful at the same time, that we can laugh through sorrow, that we can find connection with one another even when the world feels divided.
This nuanced approach helps us navigate life with open hearts and grounded minds. It reminds us that every moment, no matter how light or heavy, contributes to our growth and understanding of ourselves and the world around us. This practice of holding both realities in our awareness can build resilience and help us find a way to move forward.
The bad does not overshadow the good, nor does the good negate the bad. When we stop expecting life to be one or the other, we can begin to see it for what it truly is: a complex mosaic of experiences that teaches us the essence of being human.
Offering a Third Place
Lastly, we would like to acknowledge that at this time, there is indeed so much heartache in the world. Sometimes, even our most accessible remedy to regulate our nervous system - breathing - feels hard to do. We would like to offer a gentle reminder to meet yourself with compassion. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling without judgment and seek out the small moments of beauty that persist despite the heaviness. Our community is also open to all - to all people and to all emotions we might be feeling at the moment.
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Earlier, we mentioned being in a place of acknowledgement where the good and the bad exist, being an in-between or a “third place.” Traditionally, a “third place” is defined as a familiar communal space where people can connect with others, known or unknown, over a shared interest or activity. Typically, these are places like a local coffee shop, the library or a gym. While we’ve considered ourselves to fit this definition as we keep community and connection at the heart of our work, we also extend Equinimity as a place where it’s okay to simply be as you are. A space where you can bring the full weight of your experiences, both light and heavy, and find understanding, acceptance and connection.
For opportunities to gather, we kindly point you to our website to see our upcoming offerings.
It’s natural to want to shield ourselves from pain. To find an escape or distraction. Turning away from distressing news or suppressing difficult emotions can feel like self-preservation. But in looking for the good, it doesn’t mean that we look the other way or pretend that the challenges we’re facing are not happening. We don’t have to turn away from the dark to see light. Instead, we can allow ourselves to hold space for both.
There is a wonderful quote forwarded to us by a member of our community:
“Everything is on fire, but everyone I love is doing beautiful things
and trying to make life worth living,
and I know I don't have to believe in everything,
but I believe in that.”
-Nikita Gill
The goal is not to pretend that the bad things don’t exist, but to allow ourselves to see beauty in its midst. This process can begin with mindfulness. When something good crosses our path - a kind word, a laugh with a friend, the warmth of the sun on our skin - we can pause and let ourselves feel it. To be in that moment and find a bit of solace, a bit of hope, a bit of warmth (both physically and emotionally). In the darkest times, even the smallest glimmers of light can feel profound. During grief, a moment of connection with a loved one, or even a stranger, carries extraordinary weight. In adversity, a simple act of kindness becomes a beacon of hope. The catastrophic wildfires in California have left many devastated but it also moved people into action, offering a helping hand to those who need it.
The goodness we experience doesn’t take away the pain, but it coexists with it and it can offer us comfort and valuable perspective - that it’s possible to feel heartbroken and grateful at the same time, that we can laugh through sorrow, that we can find connection with one another even when the world feels divided.
This nuanced approach helps us navigate life with open hearts and grounded minds. It reminds us that every moment, no matter how light or heavy, contributes to our growth and understanding of ourselves and the world around us. This practice of holding both realities in our awareness can build resilience and help us find a way to move forward.
The bad does not overshadow the good, nor does the good negate the bad. When we stop expecting life to be one or the other, we can begin to see it for what it truly is: a complex mosaic of experiences that teaches us the essence of being human.
Offering a Third Place
Lastly, we would like to acknowledge that at this time, there is indeed so much heartache in the world. Sometimes, even our most accessible remedy to regulate our nervous system - breathing - feels hard to do. We would like to offer a gentle reminder to meet yourself with compassion. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling without judgment and seek out the small moments of beauty that persist despite the heaviness. Our community is also open to all - to all people and to all emotions we might be feeling at the moment.
_____________
Earlier, we mentioned being in a place of acknowledgement where the good and the bad exist, being an in-between or a “third place.” Traditionally, a “third place” is defined as a familiar communal space where people can connect with others, known or unknown, over a shared interest or activity. Typically, these are places like a local coffee shop, the library or a gym. While we’ve considered ourselves to fit this definition as we keep community and connection at the heart of our work, we also extend Equinimity as a place where it’s okay to simply be as you are. A space where you can bring the full weight of your experiences, both light and heavy, and find understanding, acceptance and connection.
For opportunities to gather, we kindly point you to our website to see our upcoming offerings.