the art of connection
“We stand in lines or aisles. We pass each other on sidewalks and in parking lots. We sit next to one another in waiting rooms or subway stops or car lines. And within that space between strangers is where possibility hangs in the air like ripe fruit - and we have the chance to reach for it. We have the chance to reach for a moment when, instead of being strangers with eyes averted or cast down or out of reach, we become humans noticing other humans.”
- Liz Bell Young, Author
Growing up, we’ve often been told, “Don’t talk to strangers,” and perhaps, when inquisitiveness and curiosity got the better of us, there may have also been occasions when we’ve been told to mind our own business. While these phrases were intended to keep us safe and perhaps even teach us about boundaries, many of us carry this conditioning with us as adults - that it’s better to keep to ourselves and stay in our lane. But in an effort to preserve our own bubble of security, we may also find ourselves shying away from opportunities to connect with one another. Somewhere along the way, we take for granted that in these shared moments - in lines, in aisles, and sidewalks - we can find connection if we choose to reach out.
As we enter the coming months, a time often marked by celebrations and togetherness, the pressure to feel connected can be heightened. While these gatherings are beautiful for many, they can also be difficult for those who are experiencing loneliness, loss, or strained relationships. The emphasis on community and family may serve as a reminder of what’s missing for some. In these times of longing, it is incredible how profoundly comforting those fleeting moments of shared humanity can be. A passing comment about the weather, a “good morning,” or a brief conversation can feel like a healing balm to our sadness - a respite from isolation. A kind word from a stranger might be the highlight of our day or even our week. A reminder that even when life feels lonely, we are still connected. A simple “hello” can pull us out of our thoughts and out into the world we are all a part of.
One of our community members recalls an interaction she overheard at a coffee shop between a barista and a customer. The barista asked the customer, “How’s it going?” and the customer responded, “Could be better.” With an understanding smile and coffee in hand, the barista softly said, “Well, hang in there.” Though it was a quick conversation, the exchange was heartfelt. And the message, “hang in there,” didn’t just resonate with that customer; it felt like a message that touched everyone who overheard. No matter where we’re going or the challenges we face as individuals, the exchanges we share with one another have the power to uplift us and give us warmth - even if only for a few seconds.
In as much as we highlight the value of connection, we also recognize that for some, these small interactions can feel challenging or overwhelming. Striking up a conversation with a stranger or making eye contact might cause discomfort or nervousness. In these cases, what feels like a barrier to one person might actually be a protective boundary for another. For those who struggle with this, it’s okay to take things at their own pace. Connection doesn’t have to be forced or immediate. It’s about finding the balance between honoring personal boundaries and being open to the possibility of a meaningful interaction when it feels right. Understanding that some may be navigating their own personal boundaries allows us to extend kindness without expectation.
As we reflect on the importance of human connection, it's essential to recognize that it isn’t just about filling the spaces between us with conversation, but about creating moments of genuine care. In these small moments, we acknowledge each other’s presence and humanity without the pressure to engage deeply. For those who feel overwhelmed by social interaction or are navigating personal challenges, this acknowledgment can be enough. Connection doesn’t always have to be verbal or demanding; it can simply be the act of being present for one another. This is why at Equinimity, our Calm and Connection offering is centered on fostering a lighthearted atmosphere where a small group of people can unwind and be present with one another and with horses. While we welcome meaningful conversations, there is also value in spending mindful moments together.
At the heart of this balance between boundaries and connection is empathy. When we approach interactions with an understanding that not everyone experiences connection the same way, we cultivate compassion. Rather than seeing someone's reluctance to engage as disinterest or coldness, we can interpret it as a sign of their current need for space.
By honoring both the boundaries we set for ourselves and the experiences of others, we create a more empathetic and supportive environment. An environment where everyone, regardless of their comfort level, can feel seen and valued - no matter how brief or quiet our interactions may be. In doing so, we invite connection that is authentic, gentle, and respectful - one that doesn’t demand too much but remains open to possibilities.